Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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