I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
