You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize