How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
