Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
