I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize