Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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