I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize