Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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