I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
