I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
