Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
