Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize