my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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