Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
