I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize