She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
How external is "for external use only"?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize