I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
