I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
