so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
