told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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