is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
