brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
