How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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