did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize