Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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