I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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