Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
