Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Did we literally take a cab across the street
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
