so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
operation have a gay friend backfired
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
