Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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