Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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