But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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