That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
