Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
