I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
