Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
