Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Randomize
