when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We got so high we made milksteak
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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