Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
