I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Pants are for mortals
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
