I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
as a side note pls kill me
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Dear god my vagina.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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