i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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