The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize