If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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