bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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