We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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