Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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