You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
