I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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