You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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