so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
