do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
