At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
