It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Randomize
