god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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