Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
