just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
