her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
