If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
