hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
