How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
