Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
