I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
