I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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