but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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