Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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