im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
