peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
